Sick and tired of being sick and tired

Anyone else feel this way as a young professional?  I sometimes feel that no matter how hard I work or assertive I am or qualified I am, folks who are older than me will still find a way to diminish all that I've worked for or assume that they know what is best for me (even though they just met me!).

So here is an open letter for most of the 40+ year olds that have been driving me up the wall!  I figured I'd put this out here for all, so if you see a behavior of yours on the list, you know to quit doing it.

• I'm not the new intern or the cleaning service at the place where I work.  I have yet to see a maintenance professional wear openwork tights and pencil skirts to do her job, and I haven't been an intern in over half a decade.  I'm a professional with two degrees and a committee and six years of experience under my belt, and I was before I even met you.  Please ask me what my title is instead of assuming that the grant writer must be older to write so well.
• I don't work at the store where you're shopping.  You'll notice that I'm not wearing a nametag like the employees of the store.  Please find one of them if you're looking for something.  I am here to shop just like you are, and I don't really need my errands interrupted because you don't know the layout of the store or wish to ask someone who actually works there.  My age doesn't put me in a permanent status of servant.
• I REALLY am not out to steal your spouse!  I'll bet dollars to donuts that your spouse doesn't want me either.  Therefore, there is no reason why you need to hover around your spouse at a fundraiser we're both at as though you think I'm going to pull out a ring I made and propose right there on the spot.  I am no threat to you or your relationship. I'm simply at the fundraiser to well, raise funds.
•  And along that logic, I don't want to be set up with your kid or grandkid who is the same age as me.  You are not a dating service, and even if I was looking, after the condescending way you treated me, I would not want to have you as an in-law.
• I don't think it's a compliment when you tell me I'm not like those other 20-somethings you know.  You realize that to give this compliment to me, you're insulting people like me, right?  I'm sure that many of them have some admirable qualities and some problematic ones.  Like me.  I'm not an exceptional young person.  I'm a human young person, full of faults and successes and eccentricities like everyone else.
• I'm not a living example of whatever pop culture tells you about young adults.  I don't live my life like I belong on Girls (I don't even like Lena Dunham).  I don't crush on glittery vampires (though I wear a good deal of glitter when I go to concerts or dancing).  The great cartoonist Jackie Ormes said "I draw people, not stereotypes."  Well, I think I can paraphrase that to "I'm a person, not a stereotype."  Try to listen to me before making a judgment.
• I do have problems.  We all have problems.  So don't say, "You're young, what could you possibly have to worry about?"  We all have something to worry about at any age.  So don't assume that a young person's life is perfect. 

So there you have it.  Readers, have you ever experienced these before?  If I left anything out, let me know!  And for those of you who may recognize these actions, just stop.  Thanks.

Hey Illinois!

We may not have won in the summer, but I'm hoping that we get the marriage equality soon now that DOMA has been ruled unconsitutional (and hopefully ENDA even sooner).  So here goes my own rebel yell and song parody in favor of equality.  (Billy Idol will just have to forgive me.)

Hey Illinois, what you gonna do?
Hey Illinois, all eyes are now on you.
Hey Massachusetts, show us how it's done.
Hey Massachusetts, you were number one.
Hey Illinois, do the right thing!

It's a nice day to live the dream
It's a nice day for a gay wedding
It's a nice day to live the dream

Hey Illinois, it would be sublime
Hey Illinois, Iowa turned out fine
Hey Illinois, do the right thing! (Oh yeah!)
Hey Illinois, marriage equality now
Hey Illinois, do the right thing!

It's a nice day to live the dream
Come on, it's a nice day for a gay wedding
It's a nice day to live the dream!

(Pick it up.)

Do the right thing!

Hey Illinois, equality is great
Hey Illinois, we need it in our state
We've all been waiting for so long, so long
We've all been waiting for so long, so long
We've been patient for so long

It's a nice day to live the dream
Come on, it's a nice day for a gay wedding
It's a nice day to live the dream!

We need fair in this world
We need safe in this world
We need equality in this world
We need equality in this world
Help create equality in this world
Do the right thing!

It's a nice day to live the dream
Come on, it's a nice day for a gay wedding
It's a nice day to live the dream!
Do the right thing!

(C) Revel With A Cause Productions

Crazy and Brave

Pulled into Memphis
It was just breaking dawn
Saw the neon of Beale Street
And it would not be long

Till I danced to the blues
At all of the clubs
I let the sweet sounds move me
The music I loved

The men stared and watched me
Like I was somethin' else
The women were astounded
That I'd come here myself

Cause I'm brave and I'm crazy
Crazy and brave
I'm just brave and I'm crazy
Crazy and brave

Went to the Grand Canyon
Hiked myself down
Saw trees and rocks and colors
As I looked all around.

This was my moment
I'd wanted for years
The view was my prize
It moved me to tears.

Wandered down the trail
Past the rest home
The other hikers stood confounded
That I'd done this alone

Cause I'm brave and I'm crazy
Crazy and brave
I'm just brave and I'm crazy
Crazy and brave

Headed back on the train
For thirty-two hours
Through sunshine and darkness
And occasional showers

Heard a lady complain
That I was looking for harm
That solo travel was scary
And cause for alarm

Well, I held my head high
I tried not to debate it
Cause if I didn't adventure
I know I would hate it!

Cause I'm brave and I'm crazy
Crazy and brave
I'm just brave and I'm crazy
Crazy and brave

I'm brave and I'm crazy
Crazy and brave
I'm just brave and I'm crazy
Crazy and brave

(C) Revel With A Cause Productions

Quiz time!

Just a few things I've been thinking about, so enjoy...

1.  If there is controversy over the Park 51 Cultural Center (erroneously also known as a Ground Zero Mosque, though it is neither a mosque nor at the exact 9/11 site) being built because those who attacked the United States were Muslims, does that mean that we can't build any churches in Oklahoma City because Timothy McVeigh was a Christian?

Along those lines of logic, since most of the terrorist acts that have occurred in the US are domestic ones done by Christians (since Christians make up over 70% of our country), there would be very few places it would be okay for us to build churches.

2.  How is it that the same people who were criticizing President Obama for things his pastor, Rev. Jeremiah Wright, said, are now saying he is a Muslim?  What exactly do they think he is?

3.  How is it that many of the folks who preach about the "sanctity of marriage" have also cheated on their spouses?  Sanctity of marriage my oversized butt.

4.  How is it that there are folks who are both pro-life and pro-war?  If your preferences lean toward either, please pick one and stick to it.  And deal with the consequences yourself.

5.  Has the Catholic Church forgotten that clergy are all considered mandated reporters?  Or what that even means?  Do they need a refresher?  Or maybe a monitoring visit!  That might help them remember.

6.  Has anyone actually seen a welfare recipient drive a Cadillac?  That is, in real life?

20,000 Hearts

First we lived in India- in winter it rains there every day
We were younger then, we were children in India
There were signs and people we didn't understand,
You said, "hold my hand," and I held your hand

There is one of me, and one of you
and two of us with one hundred questions
and two thousand reasons, but ten's a perfect number
We are twenty thousand hearts full of hunger
Twenty thousand hearts

Then we're dancing in Geneva- it's New Year's Eve
and all the Americans were there
They said "it's still last year in New York City"
You said, "New York where?"
I said, "New York City- it's three thousand miles away"
You said, "what's a mile?" I said, "It's far away"

There is one of me, and one of you
and two of us with one hundred questions
and two thousand reasons, but ten's a perfect number
We are twenty thousand hearts full of hunger
Twenty thousand hearts

Now you ask me to explain myself
and I tell you I need distance
You say, "To hell with distance, remember who
you're talking to"
I say, "Closeness is too much for me,"
and dismiss you with a smile
You say, "Wish away the closeness
and imagine it's a mile"

There is one of me, and one of you
and two of us with one hundred questions
and two thousand reasons, but ten's a perfect number
We are twenty thousand hearts full of hunger
Twenty thousand hearts

--By Robbie Schaeffer

What's a master to do?

Well, I thought my sense of guilt over not writing any papers (since I've graduated!) would dissipate with time.  I have been busily filling my time with concerts, fairs, festivals, family, and friends like any good graduate would do.  The sense of guilt began to dissipate, somewhat, but it would still flare now and then.  I'd be reading one of my novels, and I'd suddenly think in the middle of a sentence, "I should really be revising my thesis."  Then I remembered that the thesis has been done for two months and does not need to be revised any more.  I got a note from my committee chair thanking me for the gift I sent her, and I have to remind myself that I'm not going to be seeing her every week this fall.  Of course, as I live less than an hour away from my school, I can see her whenever I want, but now it's going to be because I want to.  When I walk home after going dancing, I think, "Okay, now I'm going to work on my paper" before I realize that I don't have any papers to do.

But overall, very slowly, the guilt began to dissipate somewhat.  I thought I'd be done with it soon enough. 

But now it's back in full force!  I see those ads EVERYWHERE advertising back to school!  I have even participated in the back to school sales (hey, a girl can never have too many glitter gel pens).  I see the schools in the area with messages on their signs for the new students.  I even overlook a church and parish school from my home, and I see its sign welcoming the students back.  My colleagues who have kids talk about college searches, getting the kids back on schedule, and being organized...

And then it hits me like a ton of bricks!  I AM FINISHED AND NOT GOING BACK! 

I don't know what to think about that.  I mean, part of me is thrilled that I can read whatever I want (hello Forsyte Saga) and do what I like (another cross country train trip!), whenever I want it.  But...part of me is really thinking that something got left behind in the process.  I won't miss living a laser-focused life on my thesis, but I will definitely miss my professors and classmates.  Though I have a very smart workplace (and they're currently taking bets on what degree I'll get next) and love being there, I feel like I'll miss the steady exchange of ideas and the feedback on those ideas.  I'll miss the guided course of study.  And I will miss the archives!  I developed an iron butt from sitting in the archives for hours last summer!

In short, I'm gonna miss school!  What am I going to do?  I've been living such a jam-packed life that I still feel like I have to attend my classes and work on my thesis.  It is like a phantom limb, only with activities!  What am I going to do?  I can't see it getting any better!  When school starts back up again, I'll probably feel weird that I'm not going.  When I go to events at my school, I can't say I'm a master's candidate because I have a master's degree now.  Hell, when it's Christmas time, my little cousin and my sister will have loads of college stories and for the first time in years, I will not!

Why can't this guilt leave me alone!?  Why can't it let me enjoy my life as a master of arts?  Or do I need a PhD?  But if I go for the PhD, it will one day have to be finished as well.  When it's done, THEN WHAT?

What's a master of arts to do?

Diamonds and Rust

Diamonds and Rust

Well I'll be damned
Here comes your ghost again
But that's not unusual
It's just that the moon is full
And you happened to call

And here I sit, hand on the telephone
Hearing a voice I'd known
A couple of light years ago
Heading straight for a fall

As I remember your eyes
Were bluer than robin's eggs
"My poetry was lousy", you said
Where are you calling from?
A booth in the Midwest

Thirty years ago
I bought you some cuff links
You brought me something
And we both know what memories can bring
They bring diamonds and rust

You burst on the scene
Already a legend
The unwashed phenomenon
The original vagabond
You strayed into my arms

And there you stayed
Temporarily lost at sea
The Madonna was yours for free
Yes the girl on the half-shell
Would keep you unharmed

Now I see you standing
With brown leaves falling around
An' snow in your hair
Now you're smiling out the window
Of that crummy hotel over Washington Square

Our breath comes out white clouds
Mingles and hangs in the air
Speaking strictly for me
We both could have died then and there

Now you're telling me
You're not nostalgic
Then give me another word for it
You, who are so good with words
And at keeping things vague

'Cause I need some of that vagueness now

It's all come back too clearly
I once loved you dearly
And if you're offering me diamonds and rust
Well, I'll take the diamonds

Performed by the inspiring Joan Baez.  Saw her live this year with the talented Indigo Girls (yes, they came to the north burbs!  My wish came true!!!!!!!), and their three-part harmony encore was a national treasure.