Vagina! Vagina! Vagina!

There. I said it. VAGINA! I said it again, and I am wearing my red-and-black "My vagina says slow down" shirt from the Vagina Monologues as well.

Slow down. That's one thing my vagina, and the rest of me, would love right now. Regarding those restrictions on women's reproductive rights, I would only love it if certain lawmakers slowed down in their frenzy to take away all women's reproductive rights and actually considered just how scary and dangerous their bills would make life for women. I would be more than thrilled if they slowed down just enough to think from the perspective of a woman who did need birth control or an abortion. Just for a moment. So yeah, my vagina is telling all of them to slow down.

Then I'd like them to slow down and think about just what went down in Michigan recently. A female representative gets censured for saying the word "vagina" in Congress? Really? That's what that part is called! It's a medically accurate, clinical term. And that's considered "inappropriate" or a "lack of decorum"? Really? What would they have rather had Representative Brown say? Vajayjay? (I hate that term. It sounds like a bird at best.) Hoohoo? (Sounds like something a three-year-old might say.) Pussy? (That's a slang term.) What would they rather hear her say? I don't hear anyone complaining about people who call breast cancer by its proper name, or describing what erectile dysfunction. But apparently a vagina is too shameful to discuss in public. When over half the population has one, no less!

Really, that's just ridiculous. Who do these men think they are, that they can put all these restrictions on women's healthcare and expect us not to fight back about it? Do they really think that we're OK with having our privacy invaded and our rights taken away? Do they think we appreciate being shamed and insulted if we aren't confined by pregnancy we can't even control?

Well, let me tell you something. My vagina is a part of me, and like me, it's pissed off about all the shame and restrictions. My vagina, along with the rest of me, has been to a Planned Parenthood clinic, and it thinks Planned Parenthood is all right. (Unlike those anti-choice congress members.) And my vagina is not the type to go gently into that dark night. I'm taking my vagina to the ballot box in November and helping to vote out anyone who wants to limit its (and my) freedom. While I don't live in MI and couldn't help out at the giant performance of The Vagina Monologues at the capital, that doesn't mean I can't take action in my own way! And that's a promise we can keep.

Now, this is for all you men who think it's too shameful to discuss: My vagina says SLOW DOWN and start thinking about what your laws really mean for women.

I pushed her further, all the way into her power moan.

You know, it's interesting when people recognize you from your play.

Freshman year, a little boy recognized me on the Quad (I did "Smell" that year with two women named Dasheonna and Jesse) and said to his mother, "Look, Mommy, it's the vagina lady!"

Soph and junior year, people just randomly came up to me and said they liked how I act (I did most of the list pieces).

And this year?
Well, I'm over at PAR, all ready to give the desk clerk some flyers, and what does she say when she sees me?
"Oh I remember you! You know, you orgasm sooo perfectly!"

I swear I am not making this up. I don't think that's something I could make up. Aiiiieee, doesn't she know my moaning was acting?? (I was in "The Woman Who Loved to Make Vaginas Happy," which is about a sex worker for women who describes moaning. I did a lot of moans (vaginal moan, almost moan, dog moan, mountaintop moan, machine gun moan, diva moan, African American moan, WASP moan, and elegant moan), so that's where her quote comes from. Or so I hope...

Say it, tell me, CUNT!

This weekend was the weekend of The Vagina Monologues. I've been in that great play for the past four years now, and I have loved every minute of it. My monologues have included "Introductions," "Wear and Say," "Smell," "I Was 12, My Mother Slapped Me," "The Woman Who Loved to Make Vaginas Happy," and "Intro to Reclaiming Cunt." I have seen over a hundred actresses and volunteers for the play. In short, I'm a veteran of the play.

One thing that I especially like about it is that it offers an open and non-judgmental way for women to discuss their sexuality and experiences. Sexuality is such a hushed up thing in our society, in particularly women's sexuality. I'm not saying that I want everyone to dish every little detail of their private lives, but I do think that there needs to be more openness between women and between men and women about what they think and where they're coming from on each issue. The Vagina Monologues is one way for actresses to speak the lines of real women from real interviews, and it encourages them in turn to share their own experiences. And many of our male audience members were really supportive as well, especially in the monologues about current or historical events (comfort women, Congolese conflict, Bosnian conflict, etc.) It's such a totally uplifting, completely empowering experience.

Walkin' on sunshine, whoooah, and don't it feel good!

There is little that is more exciting than getting an acceptance letter from a school that you would like to go to! I hope the remaining seven are just as positive and that the one rogue program that didn't take this "applicant" will be left high and dry with no Alex. The acceptance I received yesterday even spelled my name right and addressed me by name. Much nicer than "Dear Applicant," that's for sure! So I went out and celebrated with my feminists DoMonique, Jason, Gebler, and Joantine yesterday and have pretty much been walking on air.

Today's the last play practice before dress rehearsal. I'm excited about being in a piece about the dominatrix with two other great actresses. (But an open note to all, since I have been asked this question many times. My piece might be about a dominatrix, but I AM NOT A REAL ONE!! I am NOT for hire!!! And neither are the other two women, for that matter. So get that thought out of your head and your mind out of the toilet!) I like doing all those crazy moans; my favorites are the Diva Moan and the Machine-Gun Moan. Ever wondered what they sound like? Then hie thee hence to the Vagina Monologues. It's my fourth year in the play!

Then once the play is done, I will be working on Sex Out Loud health fair with my Feminists and helping to put together the Boneyard festival. I love both dearly. The Sex Out Loud fair will be bigger and better than last year's, and four groups (Ladies Loving Ladies, Students for Choice, YWCA, and Colors of Pride) will be making their debut there. I just hope that we get lots of good publicity and lots of visitors to see the different groups. For the Boneyard, my gallery (Healing Works, the best one) relocated from the African American Center to the Women's Resource Center. I wonder what they'll put in the now-empty cultural house. I know that all the cultural houses do something for the festival, so they're sure to think of something good. My folks are coming down on the third night, and I can't wait to share the festival with them.

This is shaping up to be a perfect end of the semester.

It's a vagina, stupid!

Maybe I'm just a crazy little monologist who's even more crazy now due to Hell Week (the play is this week), but...

I filed a Cosmo at my library, and the cover says "Your Vajayjay: What You Need to Know."
I have heard some of my friends call my play "the monologues."
One of my gynecologists once told me she had to check "down there."

Now, thanks to my experience in my play, I can tell these people with complete abandon:

IT'S A VAGINA, STUPID!!!

Even though we're a pretty open culture, naming something that's a part of over half the population's bodies is still considered taboo. Thankfully I'm not like most people!

We're worried about vaginas.

Yesterday was rehearsal for the Vagina Monologues, which is coming up soon. I think this year's cast is the best yet. The actresses have great chemistry with each other, and they're all really nice and friendly. When I head back home, I always have someone to walk with and sometimes make plans with during the week or weekend (met up with two of them for coffee a couple days ago). And they really get into the roles like they were made to do them! I haven't heard as many of the grls from Act II, but I think it should be a good one. It will be especially interesting to hear some of the tougher ones like "I Was There In The Room" (about witnessing a childbirth) and "The Woman Who Loved To Make Vaginas Happy (although I do know the actress for it, and she's incredibly engaging on stage).

I think the highlight so far is "My Vagina Was My Village." This is my third year in the play, and I've seen clips of it with celebrities and the like. Sometimes it's done with just one girl, and other times it's done with two. Last year, we had two--one who was very solemn and serious and the other happy and dreamy. This year is the best one yet. Her character started out all wistful and positive, but then the memories of being tortured seemed to consume her. She wailed and panted and thrashed around the stage. Now I have performed in this play for three years, seen it a number of times that's probably so high mathematicians haven't calculated it yet, and read the thing even more times. Although "Village" is a violent piece, I figured I was desensitized to it. Keep in mind also that I am not an emotional person and that one of my jobs puts me in touch with the absolute worst side of humanity. And yet...by the time she was done, I was in tears. I don't like to cry, particularly not in public, but...I did. She was that believable.

The coming week will have the full-cast rehearsals. I'm looking forward to seeing what the spotlight is and how the other grls perform. One of my friends (and an awesome Inner Voices actress to boot) is the dominatrix for this year! I know she'll be perfect. She really gets into her roles and can totally dominate (pun COMPLETELY intended) a stage. I don't know the other grls as well, but it was fun getting to meet and talk to them at the concert and hearing their stories about the play.

This is going to be the best performance yet. I just know it.