What's for dinner?

Either this thing is going to regret meeting me, or I'm going to regret meeting it. Anybody know what it is? Bonus points if you know how to cook it! Who says midwesterners are boring!?

An open letter for the talented Ms. Ray

Dear Amy*,

Well, you will now always and forever be my favorite of the Indigo Girls (with all due respect to your bandmate). That "Lung of Love" contest with the notes hidden in the CD's was so cool!

And how fitting that I got the prize code in the same town where I saw you perform, too. Now all you need to do is come and play a show in the north burbs and I will be a very happy lady. Maybe that nice couple I was hanging out with at your '09 show and those local bands might be in attendance.

Thank you for being awesome! And please come to the north burbs. If you do, you can sign my "Didn't It Feel Kinder" shirt so both are autographed!

Feeling "Closer to Fine" now that the prize has arrived,
Revel

* I love contests and prizes, especially when a prize is for me! And how cool to win one of the prizes in this contest: http://www.thegavoice.com/aae/music/4266-amy-ray-shares-her-lung-of-love

Local, Loyal, and Loving It

When I was in undergrad, I couldn't get enough of all the independently owned businesses in Champaign-Urbana. When my classmates would buy their clothes for a night out at Kohl's or Macy's, I would instead dig up some thrift shop finery at Dandelion or Le Shoppe to wear. Instead of grabbing my morning coffee at Starbucks, I'd walk a little further to Caffe Paradiso or Bar Giuliani (may its memory be eternal!). It was pretty easy to support local businesses because there were just so many of them!

I love buying local. Often have. Rather than going to a chain or big-box store, I try (if I can help it or afford it) to support places that are operated by people who work and live in the community. A quick look at the Chamber of Commerce's website would give me all the information I needed to tell if someplace was a franchise or not, and once I figured out where it was, I would go.

Coming back up to this area got me really wondering if I'd still be able to continue buying local and loyal. Not to be mean or rude, but I'd always considered this area the land of the chain stores and restaurants, a veritable desert when it came to original businesses. When I decided on going to school in the city and got my job, I wondered if I'd be able to still shop as originally as I act.

Well, I'm glad to know that I was wrong. I think the best cure for any sort of worry like that would be to look a little closer. Some of my best finds came totally unexpectedly, like when I was driving to meet with a funder or wandering around a new downtown. So I can't have Le Shoppe because it's 3 hours away? I got Horsefeathers in my backyard for my import/vintage/head shop needs. No B.Lime around for non-pretentious beautifying? I've found J-Beauty for my local supplier. Sick of Starbucks? There's Something's Brewing nearby. Bored with everything the county has to offer? (As if!) Well, Chicago's only a train ride away!

I guess the moral of the story, when it comes to buying local and buying loyal, is just to look a little closer. Sure, no two towns are created equal, but there are good things to be found just about everywhere. I'm still local, still loyal, and still loving my area. And when I head downstate, I make sure to hit up my old haunts because my love of local doesn't stop up north.

An Open Letter to US Clothing Manufacturers

Dear US Clothing Manufacturers,

I get it. You've got clothes to sell, profit margins to meet, trends to set. You all are really busy people. But how about you take a little break from the sewing machine and the clothing patterns to read a little letter from a friendly feminist fashionista?

I have but one suggestion for you when you are making women's clothes. Can you please start sizing them by actual body measurements (like waist, hips, inseam, bust, etc.) as opposed to some totally random and completely un-standardized sizes like even or odd numbers? You know, like the way men's clothes are sized? I mean, I am really finding it difficult to find or order things that fit because I am a different size in just about every brand out there! At Kohl's I am a medium. At JCPenney I am a medium to large. Most laughably, at Target, I am an extra-small (and anyone who knows what I look like is probably rolling their eyes at that!). I don't even know my own dress size because it's different depending on the brand.

You know, when I was in high school, we had this awful dress code with uniforms. And I mean, it was really awful--boxy old polo shirts and the choice of flimsy pleated skirt or these dress pants that were ordered from a company. I didn't like the skirt so I wore the uniform pants. Since I couldn't try on the uniforms (they were ordered), I did what most girls didn't. I just sent the company my measurements and wore men's clothes through high school because it was much easier to get something that fit my measurements! (And again, anyone who's seen me knows that my presentation is as hyperfeminine as it gets! However, I was not going to shell out my cash on clothes and wait for them to arrive...only to find they didn't fit.)

Take it from me, dear clothing manufacturers. It really is no fun to constantly be confused. So please find some way to standardize your sizing so that I can finally figure out what size I am. Preferably, I would like it to be simple measurements like the men's clothes are sized.

Thank you much. For this I may even go back to primarily buying my clothes new and from "normal" stores.

Love,

Revel

Hazel Tells LaVerne

Hazel Tells LaVerne
By Katharyn Machan

last night
im cleanin out my
howard johnsons ladies room
when all of a sudden
up pops this frog
musta come from the sewer
swimmin aroun an tryin ta
climb up the sida the bowl
so i goes ta flushm down
but sohelpmegod he starts talkin
bout a golden ball
an how i can be a princess
me a princess
well my mouth drops
all the way to the floor
an he says
kiss me just kiss me
once on the nose
well i screams
ya little green pervert
am i hitsm with my mop
an has ta flush
the toilet down three times
me
a princess