Another One Bites the Dust

Performed by Queen

Steve walks warily down the street
With his brim pulled way down low
Ain't no sound but the sound of his feet
Machine guns ready to go

Are you ready hey are you ready for this?
Are you hanging on the edge of your seat?
Out of the doorway the bullets rip
To the sound of the beat yeah

Another one bites the dust
Another one bites the dust
And another one gone and another one gone
Another one bites the dust
Hey I'm gonna get you too
Another one bites the dust

How do you think I'm going to get along
Without you when you're gone
You took me for everything that I had
And kicked me out on my own

Are you happy are you satisfied?
How long can you stand the heat
Out of the doorway the bullets rip
To the sound of the beat look out

Another one bites the dust
Another one bites the dust
And another one gone and another one gone
Another one bites the dust
Hey I'm gonna get you too
Another one bites the dust

Hey
Oh take it - Bite the dust! Bite the dust!
Hey! Another one bites the dust
Another one bites the dust ow
Another one bites the dust he he
Another one bites the dust
Ooh shoot out!

There are plenty of ways that you can hurt a man
And bring him to the ground
You can beat him
You can cheat him
You can treat him bad and leave him
When he's down
But I'm ready, yes, I'm ready for you
I'm standing on my own two feet
Out of the doorway the bullets rip
Repeating to the sound of the beat

Another one bites the dust
Another one bites the dust
And another one gone and another one gone
Another one bites the dust yeah
Hey I'm gonna get you too
Another one bites the dust
Shoot out!

The bad moon arose

Well, this revel is not revelling now.

One of the prevention educators just emailed me on this, and I know she's usually informed and all up in arms on things like this. They upheld Proposition 8 in California! WHY?? This is not at all how it was supposed to go! That damn thing was supposed to go the way of the Briggs initiative and other ordinances designed to curtail human rights and NOT get passed by a landslide. Sooo many people opposed it too! If all those demonstrations against it were any indicator of the mass opposition to it, keeping the thing in place would only be opposing the majority will of the people. But what happens? They uphold the damn Prop 8 (in a dispiriting vote of 6 to 1), but say that the marriages performed before it was passed are valid. That is such cold comfort, even for a hetero ally. Cold comfort is no comfort at all. This isn't about special interests, it's about basic human rights (see my post, "Holy matrimony!"). And we have seen a breach in that, thanks to that awful Prop 8!

Bad moon rising

Ever wonder why people can be so ridiculous, going into something they know isn't good for them? Or staying with something that they know isn't good for them? Particularly otherwise sensible individuals? Well, I can't claim to know the answers, nor do I actually know them. I just foresee a ton of disasters on the way....I do not claim to be in any way exempt from these folks. I know there are some things that I will probably regret sooner or later, even though I am a total control freak who needs everything just so. I see a bad moon rising, I see trouble on the way...

But for now, I need to narrow down my list of 20 potential thesis topics to one (aiiieee) and figure out what days I can resume advocating at La Casa. All advocates and prevention educators are needed on deck at La Casa so we can host the fundraiser. We've got a really high-profile speaker (female football player Katie Hnida) and are going to be inviting lots of folks from women's sports teams and girls' organizations. So they need all hands on deck! At least that's something I can do and have control over.

Morning has broken

How do you take the armor off your heart while still remaining strong and impenetrable?

Is the armor needed?

Is there really strength in acknowledging weakness, or is there weakness in too many outward displays of strength?

Is vulnerability really all that desirable?

Does showing emotions prove your humanity, or can you get along fine without it?

Is anger the only "acceptable" way to communicate that one has been hurt, or is it okay to cry every once in a while?

I know the answers to many of these, but it's only begrudgingly that I acknowledge them. Guess I need to work on that, and on my ideas of strength and weakness. Hmmm...late night convos with a fellow FM friend, you gotta love them. But now morning has broken, it's a new day. Time to ponder these things, and then take action.

I think I just threw up in my mouth...

Oh dear lord, I seriously need some ass-kicking radical feminist articles RIGHT NOW. Not material (though I identify as such), not liberal, not womanist, not eco. Radical. NOW. You heard me. I need the hardest stuff I can to get this yucky taste out of my mouth and mind!!

What is the matter?

I discovered this site purely by accident. It's the headquarters of the DABA Girls (Dating A Banker Anonymously), . They say they are a support group for women whose relationships have "tanked with the economy" because they're all involved with finance guys. The title page claims that this page is "free from the scrutiny of feminists." Well, too bad for you, DABAs. Apparantly you haven't met me because this feminist is gonna scrutinize you so bad you better be shaking in your Manolos.

So I've read many of the articles on your blog. Seems like you're all whining and moaning because your finance guy can't provide you with as generous an allowance as before. My favorite is the 24-year-old who's boyfriend is married. She's whining that he doesn't have time or money to lavish on her because his wife is checking up on their finances. Another lady, a beauty editor, brings up how her job is to keep her man sane during the recession and to live according to what he wants. Another article describes how DABA ladies used to be "admired for their class" and style. Well, I might not have much of it myself, but really, whining about that stuff shows that they have no class whatsoever. Did they ever think that they might be doing better than a whole lot of other people? Do they have lives aside of being some rich guy's arm candy? And do any of these ladies work? I don't know for sure, but something in me tells me not.

I could vent on and on, but I'd suggest you see what I'm talking about. Be sure you haven't just eaten because this will make you SICK. I don't know about you, but people like this make me want to sentence them to a couple thousand mandated hours at CWIT (Center for Women in Transition, the homeless shelter for women). Or A Woman's Place. You know, if the situations don't kick your butt, then the domestics surely will.

Twenty-[FIVE]*

I honestly don't understand groups like "Operation Rescue." I know I'm pro-choice and am all for women being able to decide what to do with themselves and their bodies. But I also completely am aware that some folks don't share my views. And that's fine, they can believe anything they like. It's a free country, isn't it? As long as those views don't infringe on other women's rights, I don't have much of an issue with folks who are pro-life/anti-choice/however you want to phrase it. They don't have to have that procedure if they don't want to, but their views shouldn't infringe on the rights of those who do have it or need to have it.

That said, I really don't get groups like Operation Rescue. Or Army of God for that matter. They're the lovely (note my sarcasm) motley crew who has brought you the support for the premeditated murders and threats made on the lives of OB/GYNs who happen to perform abortions. Even many folks who don't like the procedure do not even condone the actions of these groups. David Gunn was the first of these professionals to be murdered by anti-abortion extremists, even though that procedure was not the only one he performed (he was also a gynecologist and obstetrician for lower-income women). Then after his death, six more OB/GYNs were threatened and then killed. Seventeen more of them (or plain old clinic workers like receptionists, counselors, and the like) have received death threats or attempted murders.

I honestly think that's such a huge hypocrisy. I know not every pro-lifer would do that (in fact, I'm sure most would be disgusted as well), but it strikes me as so hypocritical and disgusting. If someone wants to protect human/unborn life, then what makes it somehow acceptable to kill someone who's already living? That simply doesn't make sense.

*I hate to be a downer, but recently, a college-aged Planned Parenthood employee named Johanna Justin-Jinich was murdered by a stalker who drove across the country to commit this terrible crime. What will it take to make it stop? Guaranteed, her campus police took swift action to catch her assassin, but even one murder/attempted murder is one too many! I don't see how you can "choose life" and then kill a full-grown adult. As a college-aged activist, that strikes a little too close to home for me. My heart goes out to her and her family.

I don't understand....

I've got the training.

I've got the education.

I've got the practical experience.

I've got the lived experience.

I've been told I can handle these things and even had that skill rewarded in the past.

Then why do some things still shake me up?

Have a happy period!

I really wonder who gets hired to work in marketing for certain companies and how they get those jobs. I mean, if I had half a mind, I could do it too. And by half a mind, I mean exactly half a mind.

First there's the Always feminine products. Okay, I will say it. I'm female, I've used Always at some point in my life. Their stuff is inexpensive, and let's face it, using some form of protection is better than the much messier alternative. But what is with their ad campaign? For their advertising message is, "Have a happy period." I mean, what the hell? Most women (myself included) really see nothing "happy" about it. Does anything about cramping, clots, and casting up everything you've eaten sound "happy"? I think not. But on the Always website (you can find it at www.beinggirl.com), you can find that asinine message, as well as some truly patronizing e-cards about menstruating. I'm serious. E-cards! You know, the one thing worse than that combination of nausea, cramps, and clots is having some bright little card telling you to cheer up and be happy.

The second thing just cracks me up in a very twisted sort of way. On the polar opposite end of the Always ads and their bright, happy, in-your-face messages about periods, is the complete silence about them. I mean, for goodness sake, it's just a period. While it's not the most pleasant thing in the world, menstruation is natural. If something exists, it is natural. And for most women ages 9 and up (or earlier, there are some who get it early), it is a fact of life. Or was a fact of life. Or will be a fact of life. That's all. But when I was at Walgreens today to pick up some stuff, I saw some tampon carrying cases and some tiny little tampons in a box saying "No one will know it's that time." So apparantly they think that it's shameful to just go through a natural female occurrence? Let's get this straight. What is so shameful about doing what 51% of the world does at some time or another in their life? It doesn't change anything about the person you are. I've heard some ridiculous sexist drivel, that women are irrational when they menstruate, but surely we all know that this isn't the case. Maybe somewhat emotional, but that's because cramping hurts like hell. If males were going through that every month, I can assure you that we wouldn't be hearing any of that. And you know what, tampons would probably be free.

Well, after I've just dedicated a post to menstruating, I figure the smart thing is to treat the issue like what it is, something normal and natural. If it exists, it is natural. It's no special cause for celebration like the Always campaign says, and it's no cause for shame. It just is there. That's all. Really.

And a message to Always: You want to make this time more tolerable? Lose the damn e-cards and Pad-O-Meter. They won't do anything for us. Make your products free! I can assure you, that will make many women a lot happier than some asinine card.

It'll learn ya way better than in school

The grad school process is royally kicking my butt.

I don't think it has all that much to do with me. I can whip up a cover letter that can melt the hearts of the heartless. I can scrounge up some references (I have three so far) that will sing my praises. My GPA is good, and my GRE scores are pretty kick-@$&. And my involvement is pretty enviable (three leadership positions, three committees, and a play! woo for me!).

Then what is my problem?

First I went to a lunch-and-learn at the African American Cultural Center about living on one's own. Later tonight, I was leading a Fem Maj meeting today and talking with my lovely members (I love this year's crop of feminists!!!), and three of them are in grad school. This year, we've upped the freshman, grad schooler, and male involvement. I love being the president of such a cool group! And all those grad students were giving me tips on how to survive and all were being sweet..."Oh Alex, I know you will get in" and the like. But I am royally getting nervous. I'm normally pretty darn confident...but it's the anticipation that's making me nuts. I have to send off all those letters/applications and wait and wait and wait and then see what happens. Yes, I have all the creds. But there are people out there with EVEN MORE CREDS. What then? One of my RCSers, who is one of the smartest women I know, got WAITLISTED for a sociology program last year. I am nowhere near as smart as she is, and she has TONS more experience than me (keep in mind she is also in her 40s and is a pretty high-ranking advocate). What do I do if that happens? If they can turn HER down, what about me?

Maybe it has something to do with the fact that once those applications are out, I have no control over what they do next. I hate having no control. These next couple of weeks where I will be getting those applications out is going to make me wonder if this is hell and what I am doing in an Alex-sized handbasket.

Shall I compare thee to a grad school search?

To PhD or not to PhD?
That is the question.
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of five-plus years of grad school.
Or to take arms against this binding commitment, and by going for an MA, end it.
To go for MA, two years and no more, and by two years to say we avoid
The heartache and the thousand natural shocks
That doctoral students are heir to. 'Tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wished. To go for MA, perchance to continue on.
Ay, there's the rub. For in that MA program, what possibilities may come
When we have finished our graduate thesis and may give us cause to continue.
There's the respect that eases the calamity of so long a study.
For who would bear the whips and scorns of time,
The professor's grades, the undergrads' inexperience,
The pangs of writing a dissertation, the committee's delay,
The difficulties of Higher Learning, and the spurns
That patient merit of the postgraduate takes
When she herself might her doctorate make
With a few more years? What would MA students do
To grunt and sweat under a weary load,
But that the dread of something after graduation,
That undiscovered country from whose bourne
Few return successful, puzzles the will
And makes us rather bear the academic track that we have
Than fly to another that we know not of.
Thus indecision makes cowards of us all,
And thus the native hue of going for an MA
Is sicklied o'er with the allure of the PhD.
And enterprises of great pith and moment,
With this regard their currents turn away
And lose the name of action.

But soft you now, the fair admissions office.
In thy judgments be all my accomplishments remembered.

---

Graduate school had better be worth all this.

Who invited you?

If this is a private party,
What are you doing in this place?
You don't have an invitation
You don't have a reservation
And you didn't come as someone's date.

So who invited you along?
And who's watching out for you tonight?
We've got security guards at all the doors,
But you've managed to get in all right.

A chill came through the room when you entered.
And all eyes were on you as you passed,
I saw smiles and smirks and "hey, how you been?"'s
And I wanted to get away fast.

I'm pulling this black tie off of my eyes
You know I know the person you've been on the side.
It is far too late--my voice gives me away,
You've seen me; there's no time to hide.

Polite goodbyes take too long to make,
Gotta thank the host before I leave,
Head out of the party and step through the door,
Before your voice calls out, "Alex, it's me."

The Woes of an English Major

I normally consider myself to be a fairly calm and balanced person, but this made me want to rip out all of my hair and throw a dictionary through the windows of the English Building.

Apparantly our illustrious President has gotten into our English-language lexicon (or should I say dyslexicon?). For there, on the Merriam-Webster dictionary website (http://www.m-w.com/), the entry for the word "nuclear" says that it can be pronounced either "nu-clee-er," the correct way, OR (and THIS is what really pisses me off) "nu-kyu-ler" (the way our president mispronounces it).

Just because he is the president doesn't mean he's got control over our language. Since when has nucular been a word??

So this has got me thinking, as a good patriotic American, that if the word "nuclear" can be pronounced as nucular (and recorded as such in the dictionary, thanks to our president), then shouldn't the word "vernacular" have the alternate pronunciation of "vernaCLEAR" ? That would sound ridiculous! Almost almost almost as ridiculous (or ridicleas? why stop there?) as nucular!

We are living the age of the ridicleas nucular vernaclear. Or should I say the Bush dyslexicon?

And it's just one of these days...

Some times I just wish I had someone, anyone here when the flashback occurs. I don't care who, I don't care what they are or what they do, but just someone there to listen to me and let me know that they're there.

And then there are other times when I just don't want to be around anyone because I really fear that they'll see me in a moment of weakness, and I try my hardest not to be weak. I know I am an advocate and that I work at two crisis centers, both of which have the slogan "Asking for help is a sign of strength." But sometimes I just want to handle absolutely everything on my own and not drag other people into it or appear that there's something I just can't take.

Just a question, nothing more

If May is Asian history month, and September is Latino/a history month, and November is Native American history month, and February is Black history month, and March is women's history month, what happens during the rest of the year?

I'm not saying I disagree with designating the months. I love (with a capital L-O-V-E) all the cultural events my campus puts on for each of these months because I like to learn all about history and culture. Goodness knows I go to a hell of a lot of them.

The thing is, why do we need a specific month to turn our thoughts to diversity and tolerance?
Why can't it be the whole year?