You have got to be kidding me.

So I was out on the Quad today. I spend a hell of a lot of time on that Quad. Being in the glorious college of LAS, I have most of my classes there. Today was a really special day because the Art In Public Places class had their pretty statues displayed out there, and I decided I would take pictures of them. I do that every time they're out. So I was out snapping pictures and looking like a tourist (only a very stylish tourist, not some Sloppy American Tourist (or my nickname for 'em, the SATs)). Then I ran across these kids who were doing some kind of a promotion for Wrigley gum. They were handing out bags with gum and school supplies on them. Now being a poor cheap student, I like free stuff, so I grabbed one of those bags.

I went through my goodies when I came back to my room. Not a bad load--a pen, two packs of gum, a notebook, and a free downloads music gift card. THEN I saw it. The message.
Printed on an index card-size paper were the words:

Wrigley's is the Official Sponsor of Finals Week. Have a nice Finals Week.

Are you kidding me?? I couldn't believe that either. I had thought companies wanted to sponsor something good, something people liked. I mean, what part of their marketing director's useless brain thought that finals were good and "nice" and something people enjoyed? Seriously! Who in their right mind would want their product affiliated with something that caused so much pain and suffering? If they really wanted to put something meaningful on their promo, wouldn't it make more sense to have study tips or something slightly hopeful message like, "The Nightmare's Almost Over" ? Does anything about being holed up in your room or the library poring over text after text and trying your hardest to stay awake AND remember everything sound a bit "nice" or like fun?

I am guessing that either their marketing director is a recent college student and is trying to prove that she can make it in the big bad corporate world. Or it is an old fart with absolutely no memory of college life or finals week, and she just doesn't remember that during finals, colleges are just crawling with overstressed desperados in sweatpants. Or perhaps it is one of my worst fears. An English major with a terribly evil sense of symbolism. The gum is a symbol for the student. Like the gum, the student gets chewed up and spit out on the sidewalk or trash or wrapper--by their exams!

Have a nice finals week.