Revel sings the blues

Ain't got no defense baby
No revisions too
I'm sittin' here in my apartment
With no more schoolwork to do!

I got the bluuuuuuues....
The thesis-is-done blues tonight!

Well, I feel I should be workin'
But I'm all done
I'm racked with guilt
When I'm trynna have fun!

 I got the bluuuuuuues....
The thesis-is-done blues tonight!

Yep, that's the bluuuuuues...
The thesis-is done blues tonight!

You know, everyone warned me that once I finished grad school, I would feel as though I should be working, even though I was done.  I assured them that with my full life, I would not feel that way.  After all, in addition to school, I had a loving family and incredible friends, worked full time at a rewarding job, represented my agency at a respected state coalition, ran through novels like water, made professional-quality jewelry and accessories, went to concerts, and enjoyed train travel and the arts community in my town.  All that would be different would be the two new letters after my name and some more free time on my hands.

AND YET...

Although I have never ever done this, I feel the same way that cheating on a partner must feel!  I feel racked with guilt that I should be doing something (i.e. schoolwork), but then I remember that I am done with school and that I do not need to do any homework.  Last week, I sat in the town square and read a book about the blues and the women's rights movement, and when I went back home, I thought, "How will I word this in a paper?"  Then I remembered that the book was solely for pleasure and that I did not have to write anything about it unless I absolutely wanted to. (BTW, any music fans out there?  Read "Blues Legacies and Black Feminism" NOW!)  Hell, I'm planning my next cross country train trip, and I was thinking, "Okay, when is my break?"  Now that I'm done with school, my break is any time I can request time off!

I know how to fill my time, but I did not expect this sense of guilt!  How will I ever get rid of it?!

And how will I avoid kicking myself in the butt if and when I decide to go for another degree?

But for now: "I got the bluuuuuuuuuuuuuues...."