Think twice, that's my only advice...

Ladies, let me have a show of hands, please. Put your hands in the air if you've ever heard this phrase or said it:

"You've lost weight! You look great!"
"Oh, you don't need to worry about gaining weight. You've got a metabolism."

I suspect a lot of hands will go up. And why not? Our culture really places a high value on thinness and physical beauty. So, clearly, anything that looks like one is trying to fit in with what our culture values is going to be lauded.

But do we ever think about why someone might look like s/he's lost weight or happens to have a high metabolism? Sure, there are many people who have been trying to lose weight and have reached their goals. But...sometimes that's not what the person was trying to do, and sometimes the reasons are not particularly benign. For someone who lost weight due to sickness or stress, their appearance might not be something they are all that proud of. Some abuse survivors develop eating disorders (either gaining or losing weight) because they feel as though they won't be targeted if they aren't considered "attractive" to a perpetrator (yes, I had to bring that up). Hell, an individual might be struggling with an eating disorder, and it might not be something to compliment them on.

Additionally, I don't particularly like chalking a person's appearance up to speculations on his or her metabolism. Some people do indeed have high metabolisms and have to fight to keep the weight on. Some people may look lighter, but they might be more muscular (and muscle weighs more than fat, remember). There are some who might look that way due to substance abuse issues (not something to be proud of!). And for others, metabolism has nothing to do with their appearance. I had two [perfectly normal-sized] friends tell me the metabolism comment when we were out to lunch one day, and since we are friends, I said firmly, "This isn't metabolism." Honestly, I don't have a fast metabolism. The primary reason I look the way I do is because I walk at least 3 miles a day (love my downtown!) and dance a couple days each week (love the concert venues!). I actually don't even know my current weight, since my primary focus is on my energy/endurance. (Since I can walk from my downtown to the downtown in the next community over--a 6+ mile round trip--without once getting winded(!) and am almost always one of the last girls off the floor when I go dancing, I am not complaining about some number on a scale!) Weight's kind of a meaningless number since it's not a measurement of what you can do or what your health is.

Maybe the focus shouldn't be on losing weight but rather on being healthy and strong. Oh if only...