However, if you're planning to visit the Haus of Revel, you gotta play by the Haus Rules.
And here are some of the Haus Rules (I'm paying homage to my German heritage here with the spelling):
- I've had people from all stripes ask me what I am paying in rent, and if I had a dime for every time I was asked, I would have...$1.50 or so. So I will make this super-easy to those of you who might be wondering what my rent is and just put it out there. My rent is....AFFORDABLE FOR ME. That is the truth, and that is all you're going to get from me.
- I respect different points of view and enjoy a hearty debate. That said, if I hear any neo-con nonsense coming out of any of my guests, I am sending the offending guest down to the sidewalks. Via air mail, special delivery. Nothing in my lease (or conscience) that prohibits defenestration! I survived Bush for 8 years, I have faith that you can survive Obama for 8 years as well.
- It's called a galley for a reason. If I am providing you with a meal, you may be my guest during the meal. Then after the meal, you are officially part of my pirate crew and will join me in my galley kitchen to help me clean up and do the dishes!
- Your pets (excluding service animals). My place. Never the twain shall meet.
- You can never have too much coffee. Expect me to have it at the ready. At any hour of the day.
- Texting while driving is really dangerous. (I have a friend who died after being hit by a texting driver.) Texting while I am trying to talk to you is really stupid and rude and will earn you a suspension of invites to future Haus of Revel events.
- If I am hosting a holiday, we are not going to spend it with a silly game on the TV or sandwiching the holiday between two silly games. AT ALL. That even includes my beloved Fighting Illini, Lady Blue Demons, and White Sox. It's a holiday so consider this day a holiday from watching the silly sports game. You're welcome.
- Look, I understand about public transportation getting in late and getting stuck in traffic. Totally understandable. However, you know what I feel about being late. There is no such thing as "Fashionably Late." Unless the situation is out of your control, you're either On Time or you're Rude. Please do not be rude.
- Like I said, I enjoy asking and answering questions. However, I also reserve the right to deny you future Haus of Revel invites if you ask if my parents are helping me foot the bill or find the place. Short answer: My haus search was 100% done by me and paid for by me. If I had accepted help or financial assistance, I would not have spent almost a year trying to find the place!
- I know you love where you live. I'm happy you love your apartment or house or other dwelling place, really. That does not mean you get to make comparisons about what your place has that mine does not. If you feel the need to comment on the superiority of your place/area, then kindly do us all a favor and go back there.
- Yes, Virginia, people still do live in apartments that are over shops. I am living in one (and so are the other tenants in my complex), therefore, people must still do this. Can't tell you how many people have said, "I didn't even know people still did that!"
- AND FINALLY the haus rules are subject to expansion at any given time!
That is all. Revel has spoken. Pay attention, and you may find yourself invited back to see me or to paint the downtown in which I live.
Now back to packing...
