The Pink Prison

I'm a feminist in a career and educational path that can be best described as traditionally "feminine." Due to the nature of our work, most rape crisis workers are female. Most of the counselors are female, too, and our statewide policy dictates that all first contact with a rape survivor must be done by a female advocate. I don't necessarily see any problem with that. As most rape survivors are women, I can see how it might be frightening for a survivor to have an advocate who was the same gender as her attacker.

That doesn't mean that there aren't men in the field. Quite the opposite. In my 5 years in advocacy, I've seen them in all levels of my work. Primarily, I've seen them in administrative roles, but I've also seen male advocates and counselors who work with children and men. I couldn't say that they were any less dedicated than their sisters in the field. Two of the crisis centers in the state even have male directors. It will always been a female-dominated field, and for good reason, but I'm glad to see more men wanting to help.

What I find interesting is people's response to the male advocates and crisis workers. When I talk about the women I work with, most people are politely interested and friendly in their responses. However, when I describe any of the men in the field, it seems like everybody is all ears! Effusive compliments for them abound, and everybody seems to want to know all about how they do the work and what keeps them going. And sooner or later, I get the inevitable, "Oh that's sooo wonderful and noble for him!"

Now don't get me wrong. I am hugely grateful for my brothers in advocacy, and I see recruiting and retaining them as an important priority. (Most male survivors are pretty grateful for an advocate they feel they can relate to.) They are definitely performing important work. In my experience, I remember some of the older advocates telling me about when it was considered shocking for a man to be employed at a crisis center...and being grateful times have changed.

However, I don't think it's necessarily only noble when a man does it. Sure, crisis intervention advocacy is predominantly female, but it's difficult and emotionally draining work for anyone of any gender. When I went through the training five years ago, I remember when some sections of it really were difficult for me to get through, and some of the workshops I've attended for my CEU's have also been pretty emotionally challenging. I'm sure I'm not the only female advocate who thinks that way. But I am in no way any more prepared or less noble when I do this simply because I am female. It's hard work for anyone to do. So why not celebrate all the advocates (not just the male ones)? Why not laud all of their investment in the work?

This then got me thinking about other predominantly female occupations, typically called "pink collar" jobs, such as teaching, librarianship, nursing, and counseling. These occupations are not exactly what you would call easy--all require some sort of license or advanced degree--and they require a good deal of education, skills, and emotional labor. There's no shame in someone wanting one of those jobs and taking the steps necessary to do so. However, I've noticed the same attitude towards men in these jobs as I have for the male advocates. There's usually a lot of praise heaped on them for doing something that's typically "female." However, I don't see the same amount of praise for women in these jobs. And again, it's still important and still pretty challenging work for anyone. It's no more or less just because of the gender of the person involved in it!

Perhaps the goal is to respect these service-related institutions and to laud those who dedicate their lives to them--regardless of their gender. Perhaps what we need to do is really understand what it takes to be in them and salute our brothers and sisters doing the work. Because it's important for all of us to care and to get involved.