I don't think I know me as well as I thought I did

Well, I've always been faithful
To my dog--and my wife.
And I've always tried to lead the responsible
Kind of life.
And I always pay my utilities,
And usually on time.
And I mow the lawn on Saturdays
With a gin and tonic, and a squeeze of lime.

But yesterday I STOLE A CAR!
Took it for a drive.
I didn't take it very far.
Just around the block....
All right, a couple times.

I don't think I know me as well as I thought I did.

Well, I've always believed in
Every word that Jesus said.
You know, "do unto others and
You will be Jesus-led."
And I've always attended the local church
At the top of the hill.
And I say all my prayers,
I will go to Heaven.
At least I pray that I will.

But yesterday in my neighbor's yard,
I stole my neighbor's bike!
And I DON'T INTEND TO GIVE THE HARLEY BACK!
It occurs to me...
That's not very Christian-like.

I don't think I know me as well as I thought I did.

Well, now I am a good driver.
I watch my speed,
And I check both ways.
And my family takes picnics to the park
On warm weather holidays.
And we ask all the neighbors,
And they invite all their friends and kind.
And they all bring side dishes,
And we form one big holiday buffet line.

But yesterday was Independence Day!
At 85 MILES AN HOUR--
I PLOWED THAT HARLEY THROUGH THE BUFFET LINE!
It occurs to me...

I don't think I know me as well as I thought I did.
I don't think I know me as well as I thought I did.

--Michael Clem