Officially frustrated on Unofficial

Okay, I am seriously looking forward to this weekend being over. It's Unofficial St. Patrick's Day, which is Champaign-Urbana slang for going out and getting as trashed as possible for the whole day. Usually, I really don't care what my classmates do as long as it doesn't affect me or others, but this has gotten nuts! The whole city has declared a state of emergency, the lounges in my dorm are closed because they think the drunks will trash them, and there are security guards everywhere! I went to a party off campus, and I could see security guards in black at every intersection (note that this party was dry too!).
But the WORST part, and I repeat, WORST part was when I was coming out of another dorm for lunch. This particular dorm has some amazing specialty coffee drinks, so I was carrying my paper coffee cup out of the dorm and a security guard stopped me. He asks, "What's in your drink?" I answer, "It's a latte, that's all." He gives me this WEIRD look and says, "Are you sure that's not alcohol?" (What's really ironic is the beverage is called an "Irish Jig" which has Irish Cream-flavored syrup in it, but no actual Bailey's, just Bailey's flavor.) It took me five minutes to convince him that I had not spiked my latte. Honestly! Enough is enough! You can close up my lounges, you can plant security everywhere, you can declare your state of emergency. But you cross the line when you mess with my COFFEE!! Seriously, no one gets between me and the caffeine with impunity! GIVE ME LIBERTY OR GIVE ME DEATH!!

Hear me roar!

I am strong!
I am invincible!
I am woman!

And wow, I am stressed!

That Blackhearts/Cheap Trick concert after Sex Out Loud and shirt sale and Spring Break will totally be welcome. As will The Producers. On the plus side, I have an interview for a killer internship over break, and I am hoping I get it! And later on that night is the Pink Martini concert. Any and all opportunities to let loose after being so hyper-responsible will totally be in order.

But responsibility comes first, and I think I'm off to a good start. We began publicizing the Sex Out Loud health fair tonight, and we covered up the quad. And most of our participants have responded. So it's off to a fine start...

T-minus ten hours until...

SHOWTIME!!!

I do hope I see you all there!

Now off to class...I just won't be able to sit still!!

Oh, and how much does this stink--this weekend is the LGBT conference, but I won't be able to go to more than a few workshops here and there because of the play and parental visit. Oh well. At least my show is part of the LGBT conference so I can entertain everyone!

Never Going Back

One of the many reasons I like my university and community is the history behind them. Today I am going to take you on a little trip through time and talk about some of the great things that began in this college town.

One of my friends who works with the Champaign County Historical Society told me about this, and my supervisor said that it was true. One of my jobs, the crisis intervention, began here. There was never a crisis intervention program or center anywhere else in the country before. The domestic violence shelter was originally a space that several women of the county rented in order to house the victims of domestic violence until they could find their own homes. It was all-female and closed off to anyone else. The first rape crisis center was my good old RCS. The hotline began as a phone tree called Champaign County Women Against Rape, and it was staffed by seventeen women. They eventually got others interested in their cause and were able to work with their clients to find them medical and legal services. They grew so prominent and got so many new recruits that the county took notice of them and decided to get involved and fund it. Pretty soon, a bunch of other counties in the state (and soon the rest of the nation) saw this and decided to open up their own centers. The method of teaching new recruits to use the phone tree evolved into the hotline training, and the advocacy training was directly adapted from the Champaign County Women's ways of treating the clients. Then it came to be funded nationally with the passage of two laws--the Violence Against Women Act and the Victims Of Crime Act. We were first, and it is very exciting to work at the founding spot of this great movement.

While knowing that our program came out of a simple phone tree, any good advocate (assault, domestic, children's, etc.) will tell you that we must never go back to being kept in the private sector and run entirely by individual donations and amateurs. However, I learned recently that our illustrious President has considered cutting funding for the both VAWA and VOCA, which are the primary sources of funding for the crisis network. Although he always seems to have money to spare to send troops into foreign lands, he claims that VAWA and VOCA are "too expensive" and that the country can't afford to keep funding them.

I think it's more costly to the nation to lose its crisis network. The greatest resource of any country is its citizens, and cutting off such a huge social service is only going to be detrimental. What I don't see is how we have enought money to bomb up some foreign countries but yet it's too expensive to help the people of our own country. And before you say that it only affects women, think again. VOCA covers things like recompensation, bereavement, counseling, medical and legal attention for victims of many kinds of crimes. And the crisis centers are by no means for women only. I myself have worked with both female and male clients, and we have lots of men on the staff or who support us. It's everyone's issue, and it's something we can't afford to lose.

Needless to say, I've already sent a letter to protest this.

It's a vagina, stupid!

Maybe I'm just a crazy little monologist who's even more crazy now due to Hell Week (the play is this week), but...

I filed a Cosmo at my library, and the cover says "Your Vajayjay: What You Need to Know."
I have heard some of my friends call my play "the monologues."
One of my gynecologists once told me she had to check "down there."

Now, thanks to my experience in my play, I can tell these people with complete abandon:

IT'S A VAGINA, STUPID!!!

Even though we're a pretty open culture, naming something that's a part of over half the population's bodies is still considered taboo. Thankfully I'm not like most people!

We're worried about vaginas.

Yesterday was rehearsal for the Vagina Monologues, which is coming up soon. I think this year's cast is the best yet. The actresses have great chemistry with each other, and they're all really nice and friendly. When I head back home, I always have someone to walk with and sometimes make plans with during the week or weekend (met up with two of them for coffee a couple days ago). And they really get into the roles like they were made to do them! I haven't heard as many of the grls from Act II, but I think it should be a good one. It will be especially interesting to hear some of the tougher ones like "I Was There In The Room" (about witnessing a childbirth) and "The Woman Who Loved To Make Vaginas Happy (although I do know the actress for it, and she's incredibly engaging on stage).

I think the highlight so far is "My Vagina Was My Village." This is my third year in the play, and I've seen clips of it with celebrities and the like. Sometimes it's done with just one girl, and other times it's done with two. Last year, we had two--one who was very solemn and serious and the other happy and dreamy. This year is the best one yet. Her character started out all wistful and positive, but then the memories of being tortured seemed to consume her. She wailed and panted and thrashed around the stage. Now I have performed in this play for three years, seen it a number of times that's probably so high mathematicians haven't calculated it yet, and read the thing even more times. Although "Village" is a violent piece, I figured I was desensitized to it. Keep in mind also that I am not an emotional person and that one of my jobs puts me in touch with the absolute worst side of humanity. And yet...by the time she was done, I was in tears. I don't like to cry, particularly not in public, but...I did. She was that believable.

The coming week will have the full-cast rehearsals. I'm looking forward to seeing what the spotlight is and how the other grls perform. One of my friends (and an awesome Inner Voices actress to boot) is the dominatrix for this year! I know she'll be perfect. She really gets into her roles and can totally dominate (pun COMPLETELY intended) a stage. I don't know the other grls as well, but it was fun getting to meet and talk to them at the concert and hearing their stories about the play.

This is going to be the best performance yet. I just know it.

A Very Special Message

Now that it is Super Tuesday, here is a message for all of you:

GET OUT AND VOTE!!!

I really don't care who you vote for as long as you do so. If you've already voted, get someone else who hasn't to do so. If you haven't, hie thee hence to the nearest polling place and bring a friend. It's quick, it's painless, and it's even kind of fun.

So what are you waiting for? Stop reading my blog, start going to your polling place, and vote!

What do men and women want?

Is anyone besides me getting sick and tired of the endless cliches regarding love and attraction? You see Ask Amy and Dear Abby columns filled with so-called "nice guys" whining about how they just can't get a date. You hear your grlfriends telling you that all the men they ever meet are total jerks and that they can never find any nice guys. You see endless magazine after magazine with the same old headlines: "Make Him Fall For You in an Hour!," "What's She Really Thinking?," and the like.

First of all--a question for all of you "nice guys and girls" I just discussed. Who are you nice according to? Is it your parents who describe you as such? Is it your friends? I mean, really, to what third-party independent council did you submit your findings? What team of experts evaluated your results? If you really are "nice" as you say, wouldn't it be more worth it to realize that anyone who doesn't want you is completely misguided AS OPPOSED to thinking that there is something wrong with you?

Second of all, are you looking for a companion or a status symbol in a significant other? Far too often, I hear or read about people who talk about folks they're close to who are kind and caring and make them feel good about themselves. These statements are almost always followed by, "Oh, but I couldn't date him/her!" Are you looking for someone who likes and respects you just as much, or are you searching for a hot celebrity who just happens to be single? If you ever got near said hot celebrity, I highly doubt you'd care if s/he thought you were "nice." You'd probably just want to parade them around. Chances are, you probably are surrounded with "nice" people but just ignore them OR figure they fall short of your predetermined expectations. The only reason you notice the jerks is because they actively pursue you and are pretty adamant about it.

Third of all, how is it that you measure the worth of a significant other? Do you see it in terms of "what women/men like" and demand that they always look perfect by your side and bring you all the traditional "romantic" gifts for each Hallmark holiday? Or do you see it in terms of what all people like, and want someone who treats you with respect, actually cares about your input, puts the toilet seat down after using it, and likes you the way you are? There's no point in going for a jerk just because s/he's attractive and does everything right according to the rules of traditional romance. You must consider everything you want, not just what looks good.

Fourth of all, what is wrong with taking the lead (for both genders)? If you truly do like someone, there is absolutely nothing wrong with trying to get to know him/her better and then letting them know how you feel. Many of the cases I hear or read about contain instances in which the person wanted to attract someone but was not taking an active role in actually getting them! If there's something you really want, if it means enough to you, it is always worth going after as opposed to sitting and watching. Seek and you shall find. Although don't do any seeking if that person is already attached. That's just plain off-limits.

Myself, I apologize for dampening your day with my cynicism. But I never claimed I was a good grl or "nice" (although many of my friends and clients think I am). And I'm not sitting around wondering why that Johnny Depp lookalike isn't calling me.