It's time for a few small repairs

Sunny came home to her favorite room.
Sunny sat down in the kitchen.
She opened a book and a box of tools.
Sunny came home with a mission.
She said, "Days go by, I don't know why
I'm walking on a wire.
I close my eyes and fly out of my mind
Into the fire."
Sunny came home with a list of names.
She didn't believe in transcendance.
"It's time for a few small repairs," she said.
Sunny came home with a VENGEANCE.
She said, "Days go by, I'm hypnotized.
I'm walking on a wire.
I close my eyes and fly out of my mind
Into the fire."
Get your kids and bring a sweater.
Dry is good and wind is better.
Count the years you always knew it.
Strike a match--GO ON AND DO IT!
Oh light up the sky, and hold on tight.
The whole world is burning down.
She is out there on her own and she's all right.
Sunny came home.
Sunny comes home.

--"Sunny Came Home" by Shawn Colvin (whom I saw at the Wall to Wall Guitar Festival)

I love this song. I think I have at many times in my life felt like I could identify with the story of Sunny. No, I'm not an arsonist, and I don't have kids. But there are several times when I've wanted to set fire to everything I ever was and completely emerge as something new. And many times, I have. After grade school, I didn't want to be known as the shy girl who got picked on, so I tried making more of an effort to be outgoing and to try to get to know everyone from every "social strata" of high school. It got me lots of invitations and social plans. There were still some people who didn't like me, but don't you find that everywhere? Both of those places, unfortunately, were extremely whitebread and conservative, so I still didn't feel as comfortable or fitting in as I could have. Like the song, I felt that I literally had to "walk on a wire" to stay in line and not get stigmatized or picked on. Plus, in high school, you see the exact same people day after day, so any efforts to change yourself would be noticed and looked down on. Enter college. I finally discovered a place (or several places in the college) where I could be exactly as I wished. Yeah, not everyone is my friend, but at least I can choose not to be around those people. I could be proud to be pro-choice instead of keeping it hushed up (and I could talk about that debate in any of my organizations). I could participate in several demonstrations and rallies and meet all kinds of cool people like me. The shy girl from grade school wouldn't recognize the over-the-top activist who cites talking about vaginas on stage as one of her crowning achievements! (And she would probably be wondering who those people were in the audience! Not to mention wondering who would ever write a play about the vagina.) The girl I was in high school wouldn't have the nerve to try going to a cluster event with people she didn't know--much less wind up joining said cluster and making friends with everyone there! And NEITHER of them would have the nerve to staff an event called SEX OUT LOUD or the passion to advocate for sexual assault survivors. You see? I'm not the type to be impulsive, but there are times when a change is needed.
And these changes are mostly good ones. I've been happy with all of them, and all of my friends have been so supportive of me. My parents have called me "heroic" from time to time, even though I don't consider myself the hero/role model type. (Then again, no matter what you do, some one is going to see you as a role model.) They've even tried doing some of the events I've participated in so they can see just what all the fuss is about! And all of this change has brought about so much opportunity for me it's amazing. It really is. But why settle for anything less?