A feminist and a lady?

Interesting. All I can say is interesting.

So last weekend was the big political social. I went to the one in the spring, and since I had such a good time at that one, I had to go to the fall event. Because I've been so active in the planning committee, the county board decided to reward me and nine of my fellow planning buddies with an invitation. So off we went to the union hall for some tasty catered food and beverages, music, and liberal-flavored fellowship.

It was good seeing so many people I remembered from last year. I know several of the public figures of the county, and they remembered me. Several planning buddies who graduated were also there. They took it upon themselves to introduce the current members to everyone. Which was nice of them, since they have the "insider's" view on the current local government.

But one of the graduate friends made a statement that really confused me. When he was introducing me to one of the county board members, his statement went like this, "And this is my friend Alex, a feminist and a lady."

This statement really confused me. I think he meant it as a compliment, but from what he said, it sounds like he thought the two are mutually exclusive. What does that mean, anyway? I mean, yes, I am a feminist and a very outspoken one at that. I'm active in one of the premier women's organizations on campus, I've acted in The Vagina Monologues for two years, I have dedicated my time and energy to the rape crisis movement, and I've been to women's conferences and fundraisers. Everyone there knew that. But I'm still trying to figure out what he meant by a lady. It's not pointing out my gender (anyone can tell that just by looking at me). Is it to say that one cannot be both and that I've managed to reconcile the two? Or is it to "excuse" the fact that I am strong and successful on my own terms (i.e. it's okay to be like that as long as I subscribe to accepted gender norms)? I do have manners, I try to dress appropriately (hell, I know I'm a fashionista), and I try to treat everyone well. But I know lots of people who do that too, so there's proof that the two are not exclusive. And what about guys who are for women's causes? Do we have to "excuse" their views by pointing out the fact that they behave according to societally determined gender norms? I mean, there was a male member of NOW there, but I didn't hear anybody introducing him as "a feminist and a man," or even more ridiculous-sounding, "a feminist and a gentleman."

Well, according to this introduction, I am a feminist and a lady--and both of them are confused. I'm still trying to figure out what that meant.