An open letter to that telemarketer who called my cell phone

Hello telemarketer who called my cell phone the other day,

Okay, I get it.  Your job is tough.  While I am still majorly peeved that you didn't seem to know that I'm on a "do not call" list, I can understand how tedious your job must be, and I feel for you.  Really, I do.

But listen, I have totally got a bone to pick with you.  First, I at first couldn't even tell you were a telemarketer when you asked for me.  The beauty of having a difficult-to-say last name effectively screens out people I don't wish to talk to!  Usually, when one of your ilk calls and asks to speak to "Ms. Insert-Totally-Mangled-Version-of-My-Name-Here," I usually say in my most NPR voice, "I'm sorry, dear.  There's no Ms. Insert-Totally-Mangled-Version-of-My-Name-Here living here."  Because, well, it's a true statement!

But you actually knew how to say my name!  Mad props.  Until THIS popped out of your mouth--

"Um, yes, could I speak to the man of the household please?"

EXCUSE ME???

There IS NO MAN of this household!  If you wanted to speak to the "head of household," that would be me.  Because I'm the only one in this household!  Despite my the fact that Alex can also be a guy name, there is no man living here.  My g-d, what is this, 1950???

Listen, telemarketer, if you actually want business, you may want to realize that there are many, many households that don't have a "man of the household."  Single, divorced, same-sex couples, genderqueer/gender non-conforming, roomies, the list goes on.  By leaving all of us out, you've just alienated a big chunk of a potential customer base.  But I don't know what you were selling because I was so pissed I hung up shortly after that.  

Please use this as a teachable moment.  And please--check the Do Not Call list before you call.  I'm on there, so I am hoping this is the first and last time I'll have to hear that question.

Not the man of a household (but totally the head of the household),

Revel