Found this little pearl of wisdom when searching for some cool quotes. This ought to take my mind off of finals...for now, that is.
You might be a feminist if you're tired of being defined by who you date and having your accomplishments marginalized or ignored, or if you're sick of being "the woman behind the man."
You might be a feminist if you got angry because someone told you, "A guy who has sex has nothing to lose, but a girl has her reputation." (I didn't make that up, I saw it in the OBO.)
You might be a feminist if you've ever been legitimately angry and been accused of "just PMSing."
You might be a feminist if you think it's unfair for a rape victim to be asked if she's a virgin at her rapist's trial or when being examined in the emergency room.
You might be a feminist if the female members of your Homecoming and Prom Court were all cheerleaders, while you were on the volleyball team. If you've noticed a female sports star has to be an Anna-Kournikova-sex-symbol to get on a Wheaties box, while plenty of famous male athletes are about as appealing as Freddie Krueger... you might be a feminist.
If you want to be paid the same wage as a man who does the same work as you... Who are you kidding? You're a feminist. If you want to be offered an opportunity for career advancement, instead of having your boss assume that you'll be leaving in three years to have a baby, then face it - you're a feminist. If you don't think it's fair you have to pay $50 a month for your birth control while your insurance provider covers prescriptions for Viagra, you're a feminist.If you would like to see the wealthy nations of the world fight against global femicides, female genital mutilation, or honor killings - you might as well be a card-carrying feminist.
If you are not a feminist, at least in this most broad definition of the word, you're either a chauvinist, a misogynist or a doormat.
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
It's the least wonderful time of the year
It's only November, and I'm hearing Christmas music everywhere. I probably sound like a Grinch (or Grinchette?), but the finals are really starting to dampen my holiday spirit. I have a handful of invitations to holiday parties, and I've got the snack to pass, host gift, killer outfit, and fabulous mix CD some of the hosts requested to keep the party going. Now I need to muster up some Christmas spirit fast! Maybe that carol concert on Sunday will do the trick. Hope so, because no one wants a grinch at their party.
But first a carol for the long and bleak period that passes before the holidays. This period affects everyone, no matter if you celebrate Christmas, Divali, Rohatsu, Hanukkah, Ramadan, Ayyam-i-ha, Kwanzaa, the Solstice, or Atheists Get Presents Day. Everybody sing!
It's the least wonderful time of the year.
With textbooks for reading,
And discussions for leading,
It's a pain in the rear!
It's the least wonderful time of the year.
It's the most, most painful season of all.
With essays for writing,
And carpal tunnel for fighting,
So your grades will not fall!
It's most, most painful season of all.
You need Excedrin for migraines,
Exams cause your mind pain,
And coffee to drink all night and day.
Success you're not finding,
No time for unwinding,
No time for stopping halfway!
It's the least wonderful time of the year.
While outside it's snowing,
You just keep on going,
To avoid the failure you fear!
It's the least wonderful time of the year.
Everybody sing!
It's the least wonderful time,
It's the least wonderful time,
It's the least wonderful time of the year!
But first a carol for the long and bleak period that passes before the holidays. This period affects everyone, no matter if you celebrate Christmas, Divali, Rohatsu, Hanukkah, Ramadan, Ayyam-i-ha, Kwanzaa, the Solstice, or Atheists Get Presents Day. Everybody sing!
It's the least wonderful time of the year.
With textbooks for reading,
And discussions for leading,
It's a pain in the rear!
It's the least wonderful time of the year.
It's the most, most painful season of all.
With essays for writing,
And carpal tunnel for fighting,
So your grades will not fall!
It's most, most painful season of all.
You need Excedrin for migraines,
Exams cause your mind pain,
And coffee to drink all night and day.
Success you're not finding,
No time for unwinding,
No time for stopping halfway!
It's the least wonderful time of the year.
While outside it's snowing,
You just keep on going,
To avoid the failure you fear!
It's the least wonderful time of the year.
Everybody sing!
It's the least wonderful time,
It's the least wonderful time,
It's the least wonderful time of the year!
Monday, November 26, 2007
Application for Internship, Research, or Graduate Program
Name:
Address:
City:
State:
ZIP Code:
Year in school:
Program of study and Department name:
--If you are multi-lingual and have started up your own national charity, check here.
--If you have been offered a space on the US Olympic Team for more than one sport, check here.
--If you have cured any kind of cancer and have been considered for any kind of Nobel Prize, check here.
--If you have been selected the running mate of any presidential candidate, check here.
--If you are merely a smart, friendly, engaging, motivated individual who does well in class, has many interests, enjoys spending time with friends, and does volunteer and job work,
don't even consider applying.
Address:
City:
State:
ZIP Code:
Year in school:
Program of study and Department name:
--If you are multi-lingual and have started up your own national charity, check here.
--If you have been offered a space on the US Olympic Team for more than one sport, check here.
--If you have cured any kind of cancer and have been considered for any kind of Nobel Prize, check here.
--If you have been selected the running mate of any presidential candidate, check here.
--If you are merely a smart, friendly, engaging, motivated individual who does well in class, has many interests, enjoys spending time with friends, and does volunteer and job work,
don't even consider applying.
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
Time-Tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right
Readers, let me draw your attention to the biggest laugh I've had in a while. It is called The Rules and is a collection of advice from writers Ellen Fein and Sherry Schneider. If you think playing hard to get is soooo last millennium, think again and read on. Basically, The Rules is a book that advises women to play hard to get and make their boyfriends do everything for them in order "to capture his heart." To me, it sounds like just about everything one should NOT do. I'm not a boy, and I'm not at all traditional or romantic, but these just go against plain old common sense. Here are some of the highlights, with my annotation in italics.
02: Don't Talk to a Man First (and Don't Ask Him to Dance)
Um, what if he's shy? If you don't make an effort to be friendly and sociable, guess what? He's going to think you're unfriendly and antisocial and not ask YOU to dance!
04: Don't Meet Him Halfway or Go Dutch on a Date
Honey, what are you dating? A man or a meal ticket?
05: Don't Call Him & Rarely Return His Calls
That's not playing hard to get, that's plain rude! If you don't return his calls, he's going to think you're not interested. You must make an effort to get an effort.
07: Don't Accept a Saturday Night Date after Wednesday
I can see this rule working if you're both busy or if you really don't like him. Otherwise, what's wrong with seeing him again?
08: Fill Up Your Time before the Date
Surprise, surprise, this one actually makes sense.
09: How to Act on Dates 1,2, & 3 End the date first especially if you like him.
Well, you have to like him, otherwise you wouldn't be spending so much time with him.
12: Stop Dating Him if He Doesn't Buy You a Romantic Gift for Your Birthday or Valentine's Day
This is the biggest bunch of BS I've heard. It shouldn't be about romance, it should be about what's personal. If you have allergies to pollen, flowers are hardly an ideal gift. If you're socially conscious and concerned about illicit financing for conflicts, diamonds are a terrible choice. That is hardly something to break up over. If there's something you've needed and are terribly interested in, don't whine if he gets it for you instead of getting you a bouquet. Don't break up, just buy the flower or candy for yourself! If you've made him pay for all your dates, Rules Girl, you should have enough money saved up to do that.
15: Don't Rush into Sex & Other Rules for Intimacy
I am not going to comment, as I don't care what you do and who you do it with. Just keep it consensual and adult, okay?
17: Let Him Take the Lead
Honey, this is the twenty-first century. It's okay to have your way sometimes. Just don't become bossy and mean.
20: Be Honest but Mysterious
You guys do need to know something about each other, or else you'll find out that you're hardly what the other wants. And by not telling him about yourself, it isn't intriguing, it's kind of stand-offish and rude.
23: Don't Date a Married Man
This one makes sense. Double surprise.
25: Don't tell Your Therapist You're doing The Rules
Well, of course you won't tell your therapist you're doing The Rules. If you did, she'd up your prescription because anyone who thinks these rules will work needs as much professional help as they can get.
26: Even if You're Engaged or Married, You Still Need The Rules
Honey, you never needed them in the first place.
27: Do The Rules, Even when Your Friends & Parents Think It's Nuts
It's not your friends and parents who find it nuts. It's everyone with a working brain.
30: NEXT! & Other Rules for Dealing with Rejection
There's only one rule for dealing with rejection. Lose this book and get some chocolate! Hell, if it's urgent, come find me and I'll give you the chocolate and a hug. And I won't preach on and on about how you should've done a bunch of silly rules.
The best and most ironic part of this is...the credentials of the authors! Are they psychologists? Are they social workers or teachers? Wait, are they marriage counselors or sex therapists? Noooo---they're...both divorced! See how fabulously effective making and following the rules is? Schadenfreude to the extreme!
02: Don't Talk to a Man First (and Don't Ask Him to Dance)
Um, what if he's shy? If you don't make an effort to be friendly and sociable, guess what? He's going to think you're unfriendly and antisocial and not ask YOU to dance!
04: Don't Meet Him Halfway or Go Dutch on a Date
Honey, what are you dating? A man or a meal ticket?
05: Don't Call Him & Rarely Return His Calls
That's not playing hard to get, that's plain rude! If you don't return his calls, he's going to think you're not interested. You must make an effort to get an effort.
07: Don't Accept a Saturday Night Date after Wednesday
I can see this rule working if you're both busy or if you really don't like him. Otherwise, what's wrong with seeing him again?
08: Fill Up Your Time before the Date
Surprise, surprise, this one actually makes sense.
09: How to Act on Dates 1,2, & 3 End the date first especially if you like him.
Well, you have to like him, otherwise you wouldn't be spending so much time with him.
12: Stop Dating Him if He Doesn't Buy You a Romantic Gift for Your Birthday or Valentine's Day
This is the biggest bunch of BS I've heard. It shouldn't be about romance, it should be about what's personal. If you have allergies to pollen, flowers are hardly an ideal gift. If you're socially conscious and concerned about illicit financing for conflicts, diamonds are a terrible choice. That is hardly something to break up over. If there's something you've needed and are terribly interested in, don't whine if he gets it for you instead of getting you a bouquet. Don't break up, just buy the flower or candy for yourself! If you've made him pay for all your dates, Rules Girl, you should have enough money saved up to do that.
15: Don't Rush into Sex & Other Rules for Intimacy
I am not going to comment, as I don't care what you do and who you do it with. Just keep it consensual and adult, okay?
17: Let Him Take the Lead
Honey, this is the twenty-first century. It's okay to have your way sometimes. Just don't become bossy and mean.
20: Be Honest but Mysterious
You guys do need to know something about each other, or else you'll find out that you're hardly what the other wants. And by not telling him about yourself, it isn't intriguing, it's kind of stand-offish and rude.
23: Don't Date a Married Man
This one makes sense. Double surprise.
25: Don't tell Your Therapist You're doing The Rules
Well, of course you won't tell your therapist you're doing The Rules. If you did, she'd up your prescription because anyone who thinks these rules will work needs as much professional help as they can get.
26: Even if You're Engaged or Married, You Still Need The Rules
Honey, you never needed them in the first place.
27: Do The Rules, Even when Your Friends & Parents Think It's Nuts
It's not your friends and parents who find it nuts. It's everyone with a working brain.
30: NEXT! & Other Rules for Dealing with Rejection
There's only one rule for dealing with rejection. Lose this book and get some chocolate! Hell, if it's urgent, come find me and I'll give you the chocolate and a hug. And I won't preach on and on about how you should've done a bunch of silly rules.
The best and most ironic part of this is...the credentials of the authors! Are they psychologists? Are they social workers or teachers? Wait, are they marriage counselors or sex therapists? Noooo---they're...both divorced! See how fabulously effective making and following the rules is? Schadenfreude to the extreme!
Sunday, November 11, 2007
How do I get you alone?
Well, in a communal bathroom, you're NEVER alone!
Okay. I will confess it. Sometimes I have some bad habits. Not everything I do is perfect (yes, I know, that's sooo hard to believe!), and there are times when I can embarrass myself.
So the other day I was showering, and I succumbed to one of my annoying habits: singing in the shower! The shower stall in my dorm has the most perfect acoustics ever, and I took good advantage of them! Now, I'm not talking about little humming here and there. I'm talking the big stuff. I'm talking big, loud, putting-American-Idols-to-shame BELTING! Oh yes, a grl with a weak voice can belt. So I was on my way of becoming the next Shower Idol, with my oh so fabulous set of "Alone," "Mob Rules," and the Mary Tyler Moore song. And of course I can hit those notes and howl on the first two. A weird mix, to be sure, but it was on my mind and needed to be sung!
When I was done with cleaning, drying, and moisturizing myself and had put on my robe, I emerged from the shower. And what do you think happened? ALL of the grls in the bathroom immediatedly stared in my general direction and began clapping and cheering!
At least they were entertained. They're probably wondering who that crazy singing chick is.
Okay. I will confess it. Sometimes I have some bad habits. Not everything I do is perfect (yes, I know, that's sooo hard to believe!), and there are times when I can embarrass myself.
So the other day I was showering, and I succumbed to one of my annoying habits: singing in the shower! The shower stall in my dorm has the most perfect acoustics ever, and I took good advantage of them! Now, I'm not talking about little humming here and there. I'm talking the big stuff. I'm talking big, loud, putting-American-Idols-to-shame BELTING! Oh yes, a grl with a weak voice can belt. So I was on my way of becoming the next Shower Idol, with my oh so fabulous set of "Alone," "Mob Rules," and the Mary Tyler Moore song. And of course I can hit those notes and howl on the first two. A weird mix, to be sure, but it was on my mind and needed to be sung!
When I was done with cleaning, drying, and moisturizing myself and had put on my robe, I emerged from the shower. And what do you think happened? ALL of the grls in the bathroom immediatedly stared in my general direction and began clapping and cheering!
At least they were entertained. They're probably wondering who that crazy singing chick is.
Thursday, November 8, 2007
Curtain Call
I know how much your new toys cost,
Cause you've told me a million times.
I know how popular you think you'll be
When you feed them the same stale lines.
I know you need more people like you.
Someone like me is only good for hired help.
You express concern if it makes you look good,
And when you're surrounded by folks like yourself.
You're cute when you think I listen,
It's precious when you think I care,
You think the world is in your hands,
When in reality you have no one there.
So drop the guise of sophistication.
This mask of perfection will surely fall.
Just quit trying to fake it.
We know your performance won't make it
When it comes time for your curtain call.
There's a reason your old days are over.
Now we're in the modern age.
The spotlight is on, it's time for a bow--
And you're not the only one on this stage.
Cause you've told me a million times.
I know how popular you think you'll be
When you feed them the same stale lines.
I know you need more people like you.
Someone like me is only good for hired help.
You express concern if it makes you look good,
And when you're surrounded by folks like yourself.
You're cute when you think I listen,
It's precious when you think I care,
You think the world is in your hands,
When in reality you have no one there.
So drop the guise of sophistication.
This mask of perfection will surely fall.
Just quit trying to fake it.
We know your performance won't make it
When it comes time for your curtain call.
There's a reason your old days are over.
Now we're in the modern age.
The spotlight is on, it's time for a bow--
And you're not the only one on this stage.
Monday, November 5, 2007
Acting up again
Today Alex is going to teach you about acting. No, this is not your high school drama class but more of a linguistics lesson. ACT is the root word of action, active, and (my favorite) activist. You cannot take action or call yourself an activist or be active without acting upon what you believe first.
Now I am not saying for everyone to be as off-the-wall involved as I am. I know that lifestyle of always being on the go is not for everybody, so that isn't what I'm promoting. What I AM promoting is taking a stand, living out what you believe. It doesn't matter what you take a stand on, as long as you let your actions show what you feel is true.
I have met many in my time who have had incredibly strong opinions on a subject and appearred to want to defend said opinions to the death if the occaision neccessitated it. However, when they were around certain people, all their resolve just dissolved and they seemed to go along with statements they were previously saying they disagreed with. Then there are others who do seem to have a genuine concern for their beliefs, only to live their lives like those ideas had never even been thought of.
Before I go any further, I will say that I'm not trying to make everyone turn into a carbon copy of me. I know I'm not perfect and that defending some of my own ideas has on many occaisions spiraled into an all-out war. I once caused a scene on a Pace bus because a classmate was bloviating on and on about how "women have it too good these days." Another time I stormed out of a church and have been asked not to return since that time (well, now it doesn't matter ever since I converted and have no intention of coming back). I know I've gone against some of the standards my parents have, and being so opinionated is probably why I attract (and scare off!) the kinds of guys I do. It's understandable if someone doesn't want her actions to spiral into something uncontrollable.
What I'm saying, though, is that anyone can live their beliefs and that it only takes incorporating that into one's everyday actions and words. Don't say you're into multiculturalism but then complain about "those damned [insert racial/ethnic/religious slur here]s taking over our town." Don't call yourself a feminist but then go along with everything your husband or boyfriend says, even if you would rather eat a tapeworm than agree with it. If you're promoting a healthy body image, avoid picking on your girlfriend if she's not as perfectly thin and slender as your buddies' girlfriends or the grls in the (ahem) magazines you buy. And please, for all of our sakes, don't laud the merits of good environmental stewardship but then drive around a big fat gas guzzler and throw your trash out the window!
Taking a stand is as simple as avoiding behaviors you would find reprehensible in someone else. It's as easy as considering how your actions affect others, especially those you claim to support. It's a deceptively simple, almost democratic process, as anyone can do it. Activism and action start small, but that's the most important and fundamental part of it. You can't have the big actions without the small ones first.
Now I am not saying for everyone to be as off-the-wall involved as I am. I know that lifestyle of always being on the go is not for everybody, so that isn't what I'm promoting. What I AM promoting is taking a stand, living out what you believe. It doesn't matter what you take a stand on, as long as you let your actions show what you feel is true.
I have met many in my time who have had incredibly strong opinions on a subject and appearred to want to defend said opinions to the death if the occaision neccessitated it. However, when they were around certain people, all their resolve just dissolved and they seemed to go along with statements they were previously saying they disagreed with. Then there are others who do seem to have a genuine concern for their beliefs, only to live their lives like those ideas had never even been thought of.
Before I go any further, I will say that I'm not trying to make everyone turn into a carbon copy of me. I know I'm not perfect and that defending some of my own ideas has on many occaisions spiraled into an all-out war. I once caused a scene on a Pace bus because a classmate was bloviating on and on about how "women have it too good these days." Another time I stormed out of a church and have been asked not to return since that time (well, now it doesn't matter ever since I converted and have no intention of coming back). I know I've gone against some of the standards my parents have, and being so opinionated is probably why I attract (and scare off!) the kinds of guys I do. It's understandable if someone doesn't want her actions to spiral into something uncontrollable.
What I'm saying, though, is that anyone can live their beliefs and that it only takes incorporating that into one's everyday actions and words. Don't say you're into multiculturalism but then complain about "those damned [insert racial/ethnic/religious slur here]s taking over our town." Don't call yourself a feminist but then go along with everything your husband or boyfriend says, even if you would rather eat a tapeworm than agree with it. If you're promoting a healthy body image, avoid picking on your girlfriend if she's not as perfectly thin and slender as your buddies' girlfriends or the grls in the (ahem) magazines you buy. And please, for all of our sakes, don't laud the merits of good environmental stewardship but then drive around a big fat gas guzzler and throw your trash out the window!
Taking a stand is as simple as avoiding behaviors you would find reprehensible in someone else. It's as easy as considering how your actions affect others, especially those you claim to support. It's a deceptively simple, almost democratic process, as anyone can do it. Activism and action start small, but that's the most important and fundamental part of it. You can't have the big actions without the small ones first.
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