This is the ONE Christmas carol you will get from me before December 1!!!
It is dedicated with love to anyone spending the winter in an old apartment with a noisy, heat-giving friend. For added pleasure, sing as your radiator bangs!
Carol of the Radiators
(to be sung to the Carol of the bells)
BANG heat is on
BANG heat is on
BANG heat is on
BANG heat is on
It's getting warm
It's getting warm
It's getting warm
It's getting warm
I got a loud radiator that just bangs all night and all day
Oh please come in from the cold
Oh please come in from the cold
BANG heat is on
BANG heat is on
BANG heat is on
BANG heat is on
It's getting warm
It's getting warm
It's getting warm
It's getting warm
My radiator has an attitude, never shuts up when I want it to
Oh please come in from the cold
Oh please come in from the cold
It's banging away
All night and day
Hear what I say
It's banging away
BANG heat is on
BANG heat is oooon....
(C) Revel With a Cause Productions
Saturday, November 30, 2013
Wednesday, November 27, 2013
What fresh hell is this?
To the retail industry:
What fresh hell is this?
Look, I'm not what you would call a traditional woman in the least. Regarding the holidays, I practice a religion that has no rituals, my family eats pizza on Christmas Eve, and my girls and I make the traditional Thanksgiving foods into breakfast every year. Regarding my personal life, I give books to friends who are expecting (rather than gender-stereotyped baby gear), I tactfully use the bouquet toss at weddings to take a bathroom break (look ma, no lines!), and I am highly suspicious of any tradition that's got a hefty price tag attached to it.
Hmmmm...price tags. That reminds me of my point that I'm trying to make. Look, retail industry, I know it's got to be hard out there for you. You've got profit margins to meet, sales to make, all in a recession. I get it. I do. And I know that the day after Thanksgiving, or "Black Friday," is one day that you can make it all happen so you want to make sure you get people in your doors and out of there with what you've got. I've stood in lines at the book store, and I've seen people camped out super-early to get that flat screen TV or iPod they've got their eyes on that Friday morning. I've seen it, and though the book store is the only place I go that day, I know that it's a big day for you.
However...
What is up with opening the stores ON THANKSGIVING????
I've heard pundits talk about a war on Christmas. Frankly, I think they have it all wrong. There is no war on Christmas! There's a war on Thanksgiving!! And it has GONE TOO FAR NOW!!! Why on earth are you having the stores open on Thanksgiving? Don't your employees deserve time with their families??? Don't your patrons deserve time with their families? Can we please have one day a year that is not centered on buying stuff? And before you bring up overtime pay, let me ask you this--would you spend your Thanksgiving away from your family if it meant you'd get overtime pay like your employees? I'll bet dollars to deep fried turkey most of you wouldn't. Honestly, family (blood or chosen) is just as important to Thanksgiving as the damned turkey. Your employees deserve to have both! And a Thanksgiving without loved ones is, well, like a day without coffee. It is a painful experience and might as well not even be.
Well, I for one am not buying it. I'm pretty certain my family is going to be gathered around the table and not wasting time at shopping malls this Thanksgiving. However, if anyone even so much as mentions that they want to skip out of there and snag some deals, this revel is going to serve them a piece of her mind with the pie. (If you are really concerned about saving money this holiday season, I suggest you buy the generic brand gravy instead of the name brand at Thanksgiving and rent your animated Christmas specials at the public library instead of shelling out the big bucks for the big Comcast package so you can watch them on demand. Boom. Money saved.) Shopping on Thanksgiving my oversized butt.
Seriously, retailers, you really riled up this revel. Please don't do this again next year. If you do this again, I swear I'm going to boycott all of you by making all my gifts and not stepping in your stores. If you hold off one day, I might just consider not finishing my shopping by November 1 like I normally do.
Maybe.
No love,
Revel
What fresh hell is this?
Look, I'm not what you would call a traditional woman in the least. Regarding the holidays, I practice a religion that has no rituals, my family eats pizza on Christmas Eve, and my girls and I make the traditional Thanksgiving foods into breakfast every year. Regarding my personal life, I give books to friends who are expecting (rather than gender-stereotyped baby gear), I tactfully use the bouquet toss at weddings to take a bathroom break (look ma, no lines!), and I am highly suspicious of any tradition that's got a hefty price tag attached to it.
Hmmmm...price tags. That reminds me of my point that I'm trying to make. Look, retail industry, I know it's got to be hard out there for you. You've got profit margins to meet, sales to make, all in a recession. I get it. I do. And I know that the day after Thanksgiving, or "Black Friday," is one day that you can make it all happen so you want to make sure you get people in your doors and out of there with what you've got. I've stood in lines at the book store, and I've seen people camped out super-early to get that flat screen TV or iPod they've got their eyes on that Friday morning. I've seen it, and though the book store is the only place I go that day, I know that it's a big day for you.
However...
What is up with opening the stores ON THANKSGIVING????
I've heard pundits talk about a war on Christmas. Frankly, I think they have it all wrong. There is no war on Christmas! There's a war on Thanksgiving!! And it has GONE TOO FAR NOW!!! Why on earth are you having the stores open on Thanksgiving? Don't your employees deserve time with their families??? Don't your patrons deserve time with their families? Can we please have one day a year that is not centered on buying stuff? And before you bring up overtime pay, let me ask you this--would you spend your Thanksgiving away from your family if it meant you'd get overtime pay like your employees? I'll bet dollars to deep fried turkey most of you wouldn't. Honestly, family (blood or chosen) is just as important to Thanksgiving as the damned turkey. Your employees deserve to have both! And a Thanksgiving without loved ones is, well, like a day without coffee. It is a painful experience and might as well not even be.
Well, I for one am not buying it. I'm pretty certain my family is going to be gathered around the table and not wasting time at shopping malls this Thanksgiving. However, if anyone even so much as mentions that they want to skip out of there and snag some deals, this revel is going to serve them a piece of her mind with the pie. (If you are really concerned about saving money this holiday season, I suggest you buy the generic brand gravy instead of the name brand at Thanksgiving and rent your animated Christmas specials at the public library instead of shelling out the big bucks for the big Comcast package so you can watch them on demand. Boom. Money saved.) Shopping on Thanksgiving my oversized butt.
Seriously, retailers, you really riled up this revel. Please don't do this again next year. If you do this again, I swear I'm going to boycott all of you by making all my gifts and not stepping in your stores. If you hold off one day, I might just consider not finishing my shopping by November 1 like I normally do.
Maybe.
No love,
Revel
Tuesday, November 5, 2013
We interrupt your programming with...
YEAH ILLINOIS!!!! SQUEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!
The FIFTEENTH STATE for MARRIAGE EQUALITY!!!!!!
I am SO PROUD of our state right now...It's a nice day for a gay wedding!
Yes, marriage equality has finally reached Illinois, and I couldn't be happier. To celebrate, I'm headed to an activist festival that specializes in women's rights and gay rights this weekend! I figure that's a fine way to celebrate this incredible news. And how fitting that the law will take effect in June, which is PRIDE MONTH! The pride parade and dyke march will be even more meaningful!
The FIFTEENTH STATE for MARRIAGE EQUALITY!!!!!!
I am SO PROUD of our state right now...It's a nice day for a gay wedding!
Yes, marriage equality has finally reached Illinois, and I couldn't be happier. To celebrate, I'm headed to an activist festival that specializes in women's rights and gay rights this weekend! I figure that's a fine way to celebrate this incredible news. And how fitting that the law will take effect in June, which is PRIDE MONTH! The pride parade and dyke march will be even more meaningful!
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